Episode 6 — I'm Happy For You. So Why Am I Jealous?

Episode 6 — I'm Happy For You. So Why Am I Jealous?
Tanya & Lisa - 2-Together

You can also listen wherever you normally get your podcasts.

Storming In: The Coping Style That Can Hijack Relationships (Schema Therapy SOS)

Psychologists and friends Lisa and Tanya explore “storming in,” a coping style in their SOS series (after “submit” and “opt out”), and how it shows up across friendships, family, and intimate relationships. They describe storming in as fighting against vulnerability—often rooted in shame, inadequacy, envy, jealousy, or fear of abandonment—by becoming controlling, demanding, or socially aggressive, ranging from competence and taking charge to boundary violations, hot-and-cold behaviour, gossiping, and, at extremes, violence and exploitation.

They discuss how storming in can seem helpful by restoring power, driving action, and supporting assertiveness, but can also destroy relationships through contempt, resentment, and subjugating others. Using the “lifeguard/healthy adult” and the RESET steps, they emphasise recognising urges, slowing down, identifying underlying feelings, owning one’s “stuff,” and communicating needs directly rather than acting impulsively or punitively.


Prefer to read?

Tanya & Lisa

Dr Tanya Petersen and Dr Lisa Corbett met at university at 18, living next door to each other in halls. Nearly thirty years later, they're still friends, and for the past seven years they've been colleagues too.

Tanya is a Consultant Clinical Psychologist (DClinPsy), HCPC-registered, and an ISST Advanced Accredited Schema Therapist and Supervisor. She qualified in 2008, worked for years in NHS forensic services, and first encountered schema therapy in 2004 — which, in her words, felt like coming home.

Lisa is an HCPC-registered Counselling Psychologist (PsychD). She took the scenic route into psychology, via corporate work and volunteering with children's charities in South Africa, and has since worked across NHS and private settings.

They founded 2 Together to make schema psychology accessible — through the free Unstuck podcast, self-guided courses, and one-to-one online therapy.

Previous
Previous

Episode 7 — Burnout: Are We Burnt Out, or Are We Being Told We Are?

Next
Next

Episode 5 — The Friendship Fade Out