Friendships change in your forties and nobody warns you. We revisit a fallout of our own — the time Lisa announced she was moving to Gibraltar because she was lonely — and use it to look at what happens when circles shrink and priorities shift. We talk quality versus quantity, the childhood experiences that shape how comfortable we are alone, and the coping styles that surface when friendships wobble. Plus the question worth sitting with: what keeps loneliness in place?

We disagree properly in this one. Lisa reckons older women are more visible now than they've ever been. Tanya, having left a senior NHS role to start something from scratch, feels distinctly less so. Somewhere between those positions we get into middle-ageism, perimenopause, Erikson's idea of generativity versus stagnation, and the shift from being valued for how you look to finding meaning in what you contribute. We also introduce our SOS model — submit, opt out, or storm in — and what it looks like to respond as a lifeguard instead.

Not sure where to begin? Start right here. In our very first episode, we introduce ourselves, explain a little bit about what schema therapy actually is, and discuss why we decided to turn our years of friendship and professional partnership into this podcast.

Not sure where to begin? Start right here. In our very first episode, we introduce ourselves, explain a little bit about what schema therapy actually is, and discuss why we decided to turn our years of friendship and professional partnership into this podcast.