Unstuck Podcast: People-Pleasing in Friendships (Schema Therapy SOS + Lifeguard Reset)

In this live episode of Unstuck, Lisa and Tanya discuss the discomfort of watching themselves on camera, including Lisa’s eye issues (blepharitis/Meibomian gland dysfunction) and a story about how Tanya’s name was chosen. They then continue last week’s conversation on friendship using schema therapy (Jeff Young) and their adapted “SOS” coping styles: Submit, Opt Out, and Storm In. Focusing on “Submit,” they share examples of people-pleasing—moulding to be likeable, agreeing to plans they don’t want, fearing others are cross, and overcommitting (including Lisa’s stressful getting-lost-in-the-car story and Tanya’s difficulty saying no). They link submitting to unmet core emotional needs like connection, belonging, and acceptance, note cultural expectations on women, and introduce the “lifeguard” (healthy adult) reset: Recognise, Exhale, Slow down, Explore, and Take a step.